Family/Work/Feelings (finally)

Today Grandma and Grandpa arrived in the City of Tournaments. Kamloops for all you non-locals. It was an exciting and tearful event. They are here for the entirety of the weekend and I'm so grateful for that! It was completely surreal to have them standing in my Katima-room looking at all the pictures on my wall and saying, 'Wow.. this is old.. Jaydee must be 6 inches taller now than she is in this picture.' (this being said.. MOM!!! SEND ME MORE UPDATED PICTURES PLEASE!! :D) I'm really looking forward to lunch with them tomorrow and having them over to my house for dinner! (*she states with pride realizing that this is a very grown up thing to do)

So work.. All I have is two words: SPCA BABY!! :D Hellz yeah for cleaning cat piss! Nah.. It's pretty awesome actually. The animals are so cute and pathetic that you can't help but to pick them up/let them lick the very skin off your face! The thing is that one of my favorite dogs (okay.. they're all my favorites) named Nika was put down today. She was a rotty-cross and very dog-aggressive. She was always really sweet to me but that could have something to do with me walking, feeding and scratching her on a regular basis. I think that it's really sad that animals like her can't be rehabilitated but I guess it's really for the best if they're going to be a danger to society.
(*Here is an excerpt from my journal.. It's a little sad and personal.. Not exactly a good day but they can't all be sunshine and rainbows right? You were warned*)
'There's this one dog, Animush, who is the sweetest thing ever! She is young. probably around 2 and she just had a litter of pups. Then when she got into the shelter she was spayed so she's still got the cone on her head. Today she was howling in her cement enclosure with her cone as an amplifier. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. You could hear the sorrow in her tune and the way the all other dogs fell silent and listened to her had me in awe. It was a sound, raw from nature, that demanded attention and respect, but not in an imposing way. During the rare times of silence here I can still here her haunting voice; begging for freedom, calling for her pups and crying for her life. All I know is that if I were in her position i would do exactly the same thing.
In some regards I do feel like I'm in her position. The lack of freedom, only being able to eat what you're given, taken from family and friends, locked away from the world, no rights, no voice, no respect, no credit. Yet I have a choice to be here... This choice that I'm sticking to. This decision with the potential to alter my existence forever. The decision which had already changed my views on life. My choice. My decision. My experience. My life. Only.. not my life. I live based on agenda; and not one of my own fabrication. I live off of someone else's menu. I rely on other's money. I follow rules set out by someone I've never met. I exist to be a puppet. They pull this string, I take a step; they pull these two and my arms flap. I want to break free but I don't. And why? For the people? For my new family? For humanity? For my experience? Maybe all of them combined.. Perhaps for reasons unknown to the likes of me. As I said: I am a puppet. My roommates control me with their words and influences. the government controls me be the means listed above. I control me through my reactions. My perceptions control me as they battle my logic and better judgement. If my life is all about control then how can I ever truly just be free and live?'

Now this part of my journal is not how I normally think about Katimavik but for that day it was. I was having a hard time with Nika being ordered to be put to sleep and I was also upset about the lack of meat in our diets. (It's getting ridiculously dramatic here!)
Some of you may ask 'Well if this is not a general feeling then why include it in a blog that us viewers will take extremely literally?' Well fret not my dear worry warts as I will explain in less than a moment's time.
Ahem. Cough. Sputter. Alright. So. I have decided that this blog needs more emotion if I'm going to successfully keep you in the loop. It is extremely irresponsible for me to lead out on in a way to believing that the sun always shines and I'm constantly perfectly content. I believe that I am allowed to feel just as sorrowful as the next person and seeing as this is my blog I feel I have the right to share it :D
In an attempt to keep the sorrow to a minimum I believe that sleep is of the utmost importance and seeing as how I start work in less than 10 hours I should probably commit myself to my bunk for the night!
Thank you for reading and I hope I didn't make you too sad!
He who laughs last... Thinks the slowest! (I thought that would be a better note to end on)
~Syd